I might be losing my job at work. Not being made redundant per se, but being labelled as 'surplus' and being moved to the work unemployment queue, where they pay you until you get a job, but you can't really turn anything suitable down. I'm not sure if you have to take a pay cut. I wouldn't be so worried except I'm on maternity leave for another 6 months so not going to look like a good prospect for the interviewers (you can have me but you have to wait), and I wanted to go back part time rather than pay someone else to look after my son the same amount as I am earning (you can have me, but I won't be able to put in a full working week). This means I have to get a decent job before I go back to work. No pressure. What annoys me is that people keep asking me that since I've had a baby, have I thought about staying home? Sure I've thought about it, then realised that the mortgage alone is half my husband's income so that really isn't going to fly. I wish I could afford to stay at home, but I can't.

That's all I can think about. Hope you have better things on your mind.

Although I fully support the recent writer's strike (oh to be a card carrying writer and affected, if you know what I mean) I am glad it is over and that good tv is coming back. For months now we have been left with the dregs of shows like Big Brother, Flash Gordon and Army Wives (don't ask). Tonight we have a return of The Apprentice, for me more exciting not for the actual show than the headlines it generates afterwards. What I would really like to see is a behind the scenes look at the winner in their 100k job, what they are asked to do and see why none of them stick it out for very long.

It always amazes me the politics that insinuates itself into any work situation. I'm having 'interesting' and 'emotional' discussions with my line manager because of the daft performance rating system. My score (and therefore my pay increase) is calculated from a complicated equation made up of 26 seperate scores, yet there are only 4 categories of pay increases. You can probably see where this is going. For the second year going I am on the borderline of the highest pay score. Last year I missed out, this year I am not letting go without a fight. However I have been informed the decision is not about myself or my performance but more about what the department manager thinks about me, his ethos for handing out pay increases and how deciding either way will reflect on him. Just like internal recruitment, it is all about personality, no matter what the corporate blurb tries to tell you.

I am ashamed to notice that I haven't posted anything for a while. This is because there is stuff going on in my life and I can't seem to write anything that doesn't involve it. When I can I will tell you al about it but just trust me on this one.

Everybody started their christmas shopping? It is only 33 days or something. I'm going out to buy a top tomorrow for the one of the 5 christmas nights out I am going to. Buying all my presents already seems to make sense since all my money is going to go on going out next month.

Last night I was dragged to Mecca Bingo. I know, the shamefulness of it all. In my defence it was a work night out and being the lovely democratic public company that we are, we voted on it and that's what we got. I wanted to go to LaserQuest or at a push Crazy Golf (with a steakhouse next door) but never mind. To make matters worse we had to join so I am now a card carrying bingo member. I have to be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure the decor is straight out the 80s and thank goodness for the ban on smoking or I would have been killed by inhalation, dabber in hand. It is true that it is filled with grannies, but not so much in the late session. I have in authority they prefer the £1 sessions weekday mornings. Also the staff are pretty scary, tattoos on the neck, football t shirts etc. Once you learn all the rules, calls and ettiquette (never call out if you don't have a house as you will be done in, worse if your mobile goes) it can be quite exciting. 1 pound play to win £3000 against everyone in the UK? Got to better odds than the lottery. I would defy anyone not to feel their heart flutter when they only have 2 numbers to get to win £1000. Don't worry I'm not about to start spending all my time down the bingo hall, but it isn't as bad as the players themselves may suggest.

So this is why I love Janice Dickinson and why she shouldn't be made to complete any more bushtucker trials. No, only kidding. I'm obviously going to complain about the cost of glasses. To try and put this into perspective for all you people who don't need to put moulded bits of plastic infront of their eyes, try this. Imagine your world like a monet painting. Everything is blurry coloured shapes. Or how about when you are in the swimming pool and water gets into your eyes and you can't focus properly. They are simple descriptions that don't really describe it well. As someone who is -9 in both eyes (yeah, I can't see the big letter at the top of the chart) I must protest at the cost of glasses. Sure, I could go to specsavers and buy cheap crap that breaks in 5 minute, but I don't eat tesco value food either. You might not realise the scope of the problem. Glasses need replacing every 2-3 years. To get a pair that don't look like I have two magnifying lenses in front of my eyes costs £350. And that isn't even the most expensive pair. The cost isn't the frame, I chose a cheap one at £85. The price comes from the lenses. Why does it cost that much to create these things. Really? It's not my fault I can't see. Once I had to phone in sick to work because I couldn't find my glasses. Seriously. I couldn't make it down the stairs without them. So please, perfectly sighted people, count your blessings and don't let anyone make fun of people in glasses. As well as the inferiority/beauty issues they have, they are also poor.